That realization that I hate my father so much that when I talk about him I become this person I wish I wasn't, I'd never wish on anyone what I wish on him. The bad part? He deserves it. If you're thinking or saying this, it's time to let go of the hurt and forgive. Not for him. For you. <3
Children of narcissists learn to tiptoe around the parents. The Child is trying not to anger the parent, or have them further withdraw their love. With all their focus on the parent, the child loses sight of their own emotions and needs. This is unfortunately carried into adulthood.