"This sad, extreme example is more common than you might think. I have known daughters who felt tremendous relief when their narcissistic mothers passed away. They feel delivered out from under a huge burden, but guilty about admitting it." — Karyl McBride (Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers)
I will take everything negative about my mother and flip it in my life: I will create a welcoming and warm home life; I will express love and encourage others daily; I will extend myself to those in need and I will remember: a life well-lived is the best revenge.
Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness.
Everything the narcissistic mother does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive or hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern.