How to tell if somebody is genuinely interested in you/values you, etc. (family, friends, etc.): If you removed all of your effort from the equation would any communication remain between you? If not, there is nothing there and you deserve better.
Oh my goodness! Be a good example to your children in your relationships, because one day you will be looking at them seeing mirror images of your mistakes begging them to understand they Deserve better as do you!