I can give myself those things. I make my own money, and do my own thing, and he respects that. He knows without a doubt, I would be ok without him. What he gives me that no one else can is himself, raw and unfiltered. That's all I ever want or expect from those in my life. I am a woman, not a little girl playing house. I'm earned, not bought, I do my own upkeep, but I am not kept.
It's okay to grieve. It's okay to know that you loved deeply and are hurting because the one you loved is no longer able to be here with you. Embrace grief as a sign of your great love. Feel all the emotions that come with grief, experience it in the waves that it comes, and know that one day it will be okay. If not right now, then soon. - read: http://livepurposefullynow.com/how-to-thrive-in-times-of-trouble/
That's why everything is so hard. I feel too much, or not at all, I care too much, or not at all. Seeing the world through your heart instead of your eyes just makes you look crazy to everyone who just sees with their eyes.