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""Are you okay?" "I'm FINE." F-Faking a smile I-Insecure N-Numb to everything E-Emotionally unstable At least I'm not lying"

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You all tell me to love myself, that Im beautiful, Im fine just as I am...but you dont understand how much I hate myself, and how little impact your hollow words have on how I view myself

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This is especially true when I am in the middle of a flare. I will always say "I'm fine" because I don't want anyone's pity. Also, I don't want anyone to think I am incapable. However, I do want someone to UNDERSTAND and EMPATHIZE.

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I don't have depression...well I hope I don't, but I do have anxiety and this is how I feel people look at me and think oh she's normal and I can play it off really well but they don't see the ghost of anxiety that follows me.

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Chapter Two: A New Year Begins

I always have to pretend Im okay, that everything is fine, that Im fine but Im not and no one will ever know because they'll always think everything is okay just from that one little smile that appears on my face.

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