Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Proverbs 4:23 If we're being hurt over & over it's important we guard our own hearts, minds & lives so we aren't entering into sin ourselves, be it with anger, bitterness, resentment, gossip or unforgiveness.
... Incredibly difficult to change your self-talk. It will take work but my goodness is it ever worth it!! Stick with it for a year, just try to give yourself grace and have compassion. A dip comes... gently say 'Oh course you would go back to old patterns, that doesn't mean you are that old person still, you are growing and are brave for continuing to fight.'