How are you sure that it's "every second"? Do you even count it? Like, when you suddenly want to go to the bathroom and forgot about missing them, then once you get out you say, "Okay back to missing them! 1... 2...".
I so want to feel this. I want to believe it, but I feel so alone. your room is silent, your bed empty, your clothes hang in the closet, just like the day you left. I miss you so much mom, please let me know you're here.