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I don't think he's realizing that he's never going to have the chance to apologize. That's not very Steve, because he's a soldier. He understands sometimes you don't get to make things right with people who don't come back from war. And that's what that moment is. It was a battle, and he understands that not everyone makes it out alive, but he never expected Tony to be that someone.
Is there collateral damage when the Avengers come to town? Yes. But guess what. They prevent MUCH more damage, they prevent MUCH higher loss of life than they cause. And they're never the actual "cause" (uh except that one Ultron thing, sorry bout that) but there to STOP the cause.