26/31 - Caught me some wild children by the river yesterday.  Being with these happy muddy kids while Alba refused to get dirty, reminded me of how I used to be. Always the girl with her head buried in a book somewhere quiet, cringing at the thought of sand on my bare feet, let alone mud. Parenting is difficult. I feel this great desire to push Alba toward all the things I think are good for her, but she is her own person with her own mind. Often I just have to let go and remember that…

26/31 - Caught me some wild children by the river yesterday. Being with these happy muddy kids while Alba refused to get dirty, reminded me of how I used to be. Always the girl with her head buried in a book somewhere quiet, cringing at the thought of sand on my bare feet, let alone mud. Parenting is difficult. I feel this great desire to push Alba toward all the things I think are good for her, but she is her own person with her own mind. Often I just have to let go and remember that…

A new post about battling anxiety, the anniversary of my brother's death & Bee wanting to be together again. Link in profile.  "I leave the party to curl into a ball in my bed. My cousins cuddle me, these girls I used to mother when I was a teenager are bigger than me now. From in-between them both I call Bee in tears. He always helped me carry this grief. From the very moment Zake died. He was lousy sometimes at knowing the right things to say, but he always loved me hard through the worst…

A new post about battling anxiety, the anniversary of my brother's death & Bee wanting to be together again. Link in profile. "I leave the party to curl into a ball in my bed. My cousins cuddle me, these girls I used to mother when I was a teenager are bigger than me now. From in-between them both I call Bee in tears. He always helped me carry this grief. From the very moment Zake died. He was lousy sometimes at knowing the right things to say, but he always loved me hard through the worst…

Right now my hand is resting on a warm soft tummy and a little hand is grasping my arm. I can tell she's dreaming by the sound of her breathing. Tonight I stared at her face while she spoke. I'm doing that a lot these days, just taking her in. Remembering how much I longed to know what my daughter would look like years before she was here. I tell my past self just how beautiful she is.  Somehow she's as grateful to have me as a mama as I am to have her as a daughter. I know this because she…

Right now my hand is resting on a warm soft tummy and a little hand is grasping my arm. I can tell she's dreaming by the sound of her breathing. Tonight I stared at her face while she spoke. I'm doing that a lot these days, just taking her in. Remembering how much I longed to know what my daughter would look like years before she was here. I tell my past self just how beautiful she is. Somehow she's as grateful to have me as a mama as I am to have her as a daughter. I know this because she…

30/31 - The cyclone swept through our tiny town and took our power, water & reception along with it. School was off, Bee's work was cancelled. For three days we lit candles, skimmed rain water from the tops of the tanks and read paper books in the sun. After that second day our screens were long forgotten and life felt really real. Like childhood real; where you can smell the trees and feel the curves of the wind and want to lie in the grass watching insects. I didn't feel so desperate to be…

30/31 - The cyclone swept through our tiny town and took our power, water & reception along with it. School was off, Bee's work was cancelled. For three days we lit candles, skimmed rain water from the tops of the tanks and read paper books in the sun. After that second day our screens were long forgotten and life felt really real. Like childhood real; where you can smell the trees and feel the curves of the wind and want to lie in the grass watching insects. I didn't feel so desperate to be…

27/31 - The house is all packed boxes and found lost things and bags of clothes to donate and nothing to eat. My memories are packed in the boxes too because it's too painful to have them around. I'm just doing what I always do, walking on without looking back. Seeing the beach days to come. The little shack to call home. The cafe dates with my girl and the independence and the new friendships and the happy hard work. I know somewhere deep down I beckoned this change and I'm excited for…

27/31 - The house is all packed boxes and found lost things and bags of clothes to donate and nothing to eat. My memories are packed in the boxes too because it's too painful to have them around. I'm just doing what I always do, walking on without looking back. Seeing the beach days to come. The little shack to call home. The cafe dates with my girl and the independence and the new friendships and the happy hard work. I know somewhere deep down I beckoned this change and I'm excited for…

I have a habit of disappearing from time to time. I feel like it’s a side effect of being an introverted person who happens to share really openly with the world. Honest storytelling is totally my thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming or difficult. So from time to time I just like to slip into the shadows until I feel brave again.  I'm sorry this need for space has struck in a time when I wanted to do live videos and connect better.  I’ve been spending nights writing my last…

I have a habit of disappearing from time to time. I feel like it’s a side effect of being an introverted person who happens to share really openly with the world. Honest storytelling is totally my thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming or difficult. So from time to time I just like to slip into the shadows until I feel brave again. I'm sorry this need for space has struck in a time when I wanted to do live videos and connect better. I’ve been spending nights writing my last…

I have a habit of disappearing from time to time. I feel like it’s a side effect of being an introverted person who happens to share really openly with the world. Honest storytelling is totally my thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming or difficult. So from time to time I just like to slip into the shadows until I feel brave again.  I'm sorry this need for space has struck in a time when I wanted to do live videos and connect better.  I’ve been spending nights writing my last…

I have a habit of disappearing from time to time. I feel like it’s a side effect of being an introverted person who happens to share really openly with the world. Honest storytelling is totally my thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming or difficult. So from time to time I just like to slip into the shadows until I feel brave again. I'm sorry this need for space has struck in a time when I wanted to do live videos and connect better. I’ve been spending nights writing my last…

It was almost midnight when we landed in Perth. Cool biting air, butterflies swarming in my belly, a sleepy girl holding my hand. We saw Bee the same moment he saw us. He looked so ridiculously handsome to me, sweet lanky boy with his long blonde hair tucked behind his ears. At home he’d filled the bedroom with streamers and balloons. A big silver box sat on the bed full of wrapped gifts for us. Film cameras for Alba & I, new books, my very favourite mug that I’d broken and never found a…

It was almost midnight when we landed in Perth. Cool biting air, butterflies swarming in my belly, a sleepy girl holding my hand. We saw Bee the same moment he saw us. He looked so ridiculously handsome to me, sweet lanky boy with his long blonde hair tucked behind his ears. At home he’d filled the bedroom with streamers and balloons. A big silver box sat on the bed full of wrapped gifts for us. Film cameras for Alba & I, new books, my very favourite mug that I’d broken and never found a…

Reunited ‍‍ PS: I said for this month's challenge I'd do a live video every day and normally I'd fulfil my promise but this month has thrown me a few curveballs and I've underestimated how intense those sessions would be. So I hope you'll forgive me and let me amend that to once every few days. ⚡️Catch you soon!

Reunited ‍‍ PS: I said for this month's challenge I'd do a live video every day and normally I'd fulfil my promise but this month has thrown me a few curveballs and I've underestimated how intense those sessions would be. So I hope you'll forgive me and let me amend that to once every few days. ⚡️Catch you soon!

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