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Something tells me the sound of my wife vacuuming is *not* the sound of her making me breakfast in bed. -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Something tells me the sound of my wife vacuuming is *not* the sound of her making me breakfast in bed. - by Jeff Dwoskin

2014 is the year I'm going to start having high hopes for 2015. #HappyNewYear - ... by Jeff Dwoskin

2014 is the year I'm going to start having high hopes for 2015. #HappyNewYear - ... by Jeff Dwoskin

Burger King ditches "Have It Your Way" slogan for the more apt "Hey, how was McDonalds?" slogan. -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Burger King ditches "Have It Your Way" slogan for the more apt "Hey, how was McDonalds?" slogan. - by Jeff Dwoskin

Ben Affleck crashed a little boy's birthday party. The boy apparently cried for 3 hours that it wasn't Christian Bale. -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Ben Affleck crashed a little boy's birthday party. The boy apparently cried for 3 hours that it wasn't Christian Bale. - by Jeff Dwoskin

Driving while wearing a hockey mask will always get you weird looks but today it will also get you pulled over. #FridayThe13th -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Driving while wearing a hockey mask will always get you weird looks but today it will also get you pulled over. #FridayThe13th - by Jeff Dwoskin

Today, w/my kids, I stalked, captured, gutted, & carved a couple of pumpkins in preparation 4 the candy dispensing & collection holiday. -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Today, w/my kids, I stalked, captured, gutted, & carved a couple of pumpkins in preparation 4 the candy dispensing & collection holiday. - by Jeff Dwoskin

Eat away your pain Carl. Eat it away. #TheWalkingDead #pudding -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Eat away your pain Carl. Eat it away. #TheWalkingDead #pudding - by Jeff Dwoskin

Me: "Hey towel, you're looking good. What u doing later?" Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot. -  by Jeff Dwoskin

Me: "Hey towel, you're looking good. What u doing later?" Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot. - by Jeff Dwoskin

You Talk Back One More Time & I'll Show You The Stairway To Heaven  #MomSongs @Laura Gill -  by Jeff Dwoskin

You Talk Back One More Time & I'll Show You The Stairway To Heaven #MomSongs @Laura Gill - by Jeff Dwoskin

The voice on my GPS stopped working so I just pretend it's mad at me. -  by Jeff Dwoskin

The voice on my GPS stopped working so I just pretend it's mad at me. - by Jeff Dwoskin

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