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I just want you to know, that should you ever need a good personal reference for another job, that I'd be happy to help make you someone else's problem.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude and that's not my problem.

Funny Workplace Ecard: It's not that I'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid-people person.

If I won the Powerball I'd still keep my job so that I could act like a complete asshole until I'm fired.

This job is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received Raises, promotions and other signs of appreciation.

May your search for a job be even shorter than your resume.

Funny Workplace Ecard: I would suggest applying for a job at my work but I simply don't hate anyone that much.