My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like 'nah girl, you're good'.

My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like 'nah girl, you're good'.

12 Funny Quotes for Today

12 Funny Quotes for Today

I especially like what I call "The 5 minute slap". You sarcastically call somebody out, and they don't understand it for 5 or more minutes...then when they finally do, they go, "hey, wait a minute!", but it's long over by then…!!

I have the urge to post some BS on Pinterest like "rubbing you legs in left over bacon grease will remove hair!" and see if people will actually re-pin it.

I have the urge to post some BS on Pinterest like "rubbing you legs in left over bacon grease will remove hair!" and see if people will actually re-pin it.

Wow uterus. Sorry for not getting you pregnant. No need to throw a temper tantrum.

Wow uterus. Sorry for not getting you pregnant. No need to throw a temper tantrum.

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