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If someone calls you a "fat cow"... show them this picture and tell them that they sound absurd - because this is definitely not what you look like.

* * " Me not mad cuz me be a pregnant cow; me be angry cuz yer an asshole." [Atwood - The Year of the Flood


“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them.


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* * COW: " Dey won'ts even miss it. Dis gonna beez fine wif de alfalfa grass."

“Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures; none show more passionate tenderness to their young… and I am not ashamed to profess a deep, abiding love for these quiet (but sometimes sneaky) creatures.” Ironically, the toast is probably buttered.

I have no idea why I found this so funny. I have laughed for 20 minutes.

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