“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them.
“Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures; none show more passionate tenderness to their young… and I am not ashamed to profess a deep, abiding love for these quiet (but sometimes sneaky) creatures.” Ironically, the toast is probably buttered.