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Wow uterus. Sorry for not getting you pregnant. No need to throw a temper tantrum.

Wow uterus. Sorry for not getting you pregnant. No need to throw a temper tantrum.

Funny Confession Ecard: Couldn't find my favorite shoes....realized they are in my pinterest closet!

Funny Confession Ecard: Couldn't find my favorite shoes....realized they are in my pinterest closet!

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.

I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth loosing my job. Most days the answer is yes.

I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth loosing my job. Most days the answer is yes.

Ok, I can't help but post this....feel the burn or feel my bumper. haha.

Ok, I can't help but post this....feel the burn or feel my bumper. haha.

Please, please don't be a bitch to me. Because then I'll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.

Please, please don't be a bitch to me. Because then I'll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.

Friday Things

Friday Things

You couldn't pay me to sleep in a damp tent all night long on the hard ground. I'll take a hotel with a comfy bed please :)

They should put more wine in a bottle.... So there's enough for two people.

They should put more wine in a bottle.... So there's enough for two people.

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