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"One time I jokingly texted an ex,  a picture of my friends baby and said "It's yours" Not only was it the wrong race and the timing didn't match,  but we never had sex.   He freaked. "

"One time I jokingly texted an ex, a picture of my friends baby and said "It's yours" Not only was it the wrong race and the timing didn't match, but we never had sex. He freaked. "

"My parents met at work. Dad was a tech, mom a secretary. She tried to get his attention by seductively eating a sausage. It worked..."

"My parents met at work. Dad was a tech, mom a secretary. She tried to get his attention by seductively eating a sausage. It worked..."

Jason Bourne Stars in The Drun... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 38 Drunk Texts You Wish You Got

Jason Bourne Stars in The Drun... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 38 Drunk Texts You Wish You Got

36 New Funny Animal Pictures You're Going To Love

36 New Funny Animal Pictures You're Going To Love

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