They Fear everything single thing they did to you to cause suffering.....they Fear being abandoned, controlled, critised, smeared & exposed! That's why they accuse you of what they most afraid of. Their reasoning is since they doing it to you, you're also capable of doing it to them
Unawareness in a Narcissistic Personality Disorder Abusive Relationship
The problem with a lot of abusive relationships is that the “abused” becomes unaware that he or she is "in an abusive relationship. They become completely unaware of the power dynamic within the relationship and how it is being used to control them." - good article linked
LOVE THIS it's not just about being a positive person, it's about our power to change our lifes, to guide them, if not in the exact direction we had planned, at least in a good one. The ability to choose the outcome of wether you'll be happy or not. This is one of my favorite quotes and deserves my personal comment on it (something I had never done while pinning) because it fills me with HOPE.