I woke up one day and realized that I was what I hated more than anything else on this planet. I was the problem and that the solution was to overcome me. I struggle every day but I'm closer than I was one day ago.
I'm about to break. I can't keep doing this. I want to cut so badly. It's been 9 months. I'm 9 months clean and tonight, I might lose that. I can't be strong for everyone else all the time. I need a break. I need to break. I'm about to break.
I have to keep reminding myself that you can only help those who want to help themselves. No one can do it for you, you have to put the effort in. Sometimes I get caught up spending too much energy trying to help someone that won't. I want to help as many people as possible, but I'm not a wizard. Life takes effort. Decide. Commit. Succeed.