"When my mum was making Dad's dinner, she left the roast lamb unattended and I helped myself. My mum cut off the bit I had eaten and served the rest to my Dad.(mum is vegetarian) he still doesn't know - this was yesterday!"
"I may look very distinguished, but I'm a tramp. I go into my grumpy neighbour's house and find myself a comfy bed to sleep on upstairs. My Mum is scared to speak to the neighbour, she is soooo embarrassed."