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Woody Werkz

Me: How old is your baby? Them: Oh, 137 weeks. Me: *sighs* *pulls out calculator, protractor, venn diagram and telescope*

Me: How old is your baby? Them: Oh, 137 weeks. Me: *sighs* *pulls out calculator, protractor, venn diagram and telescope*

My parents have been married almost 26yrs and still get mistaken for a new couple.   The key? They've never stopped dating.

My parents have been married almost 26yrs and still get mistaken for a new couple. The key? They've never stopped dating.

I always think about the awesome things I could have said during an argument…

I always think about the awesome things I could have said during an argument…

It's weird that I need two pieces of glass in front of my eyes to keep myself from mistaking a small child for a garbage can.

It's weird that I need two pieces of glass in front of my eyes to keep myself from mistaking a small child for a garbage can.

newenglander-gets-fit: “ I CANNOT stop laughing. ”

The 167 Funniest Tweets Of All Time

I always do too much. If I study, I study for 8 hours If I clean, I clean EVERYTHING If I watch Netflix, I watch three complete shows in one day. If I get a pizza, I eat the whole pizza.

I always do too much. If I study, I study for 8 hours If I clean, I clean EVERYTHING If I watch Netflix, I watch three complete shows in one day. If I get a pizza, I eat the whole pizza.

Do you think you could love someone that you don't find physically attractive, but whose personality is perfect?

Do you think you could love someone that you don't find physically attractive, but whose personality is perfect?

I know!! Closer by the Chainsmokers came on and I HATE THAT SONG it played twice in like ten minutes.

I know!! Closer by the Chainsmokers came on and I HATE THAT SONG it played twice in like ten minutes.

People act like girls are so expensive, but honestly I'd be happy if my SO wrote me a letter, or set up an at-home movie night, or put a blanket on the grass so we could look up at the stars

People act like girls are so expensive, but honestly I'd be happy if my SO wrote me a letter, or set up an at-home movie night, or put a blanket on the grass so we could look up at the stars

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